So alot has happened in the past year....

I was diagnosed with Sjogren's Syndrom which caused Lupus and Fibro Myalgia.  I hate that I am now tired ALL THE TIME!!!  I have been trying to exercise and have been watching what and how much I eat so I have actually lost approximately 10 pounds.  Still have 50 more to go.  Taking 30 pills a day, to help build up my bones which are very brittle and to treat the multitude of issues that I have because of these combined diseases.  It is very hard to keep up my spirits, I barely make it through my work day and then go home and straight to bed.  I think mom is feeling like she is living all by herself again =(.  I try and stay up for a little while and visit with her, but usually am in bed by 8PM.  I have started dating a gentleman, he is really sweet.  I worry that mom fears that I will run off and get re-married and leave her alone again.  So I am going to try and re-assure her that that is never going to happen.  After all she is my best friend.  I do not know the full progression of these diseases, I do know that lupus can be put in remission when it gets to a certain point I hear anyways.  Just felt like venting and since no one reads this blog anymore I felt pretty secure in letting alot out, including the thought that my family would be better off without the drain of my illness on them (though I know that is not true, sometimes I just get tired of being tired and in pain) and stupid thoughts cross my mind.  I would never do that to my children but feel that I should at least admit that those thoughts cross my mind once in a while so that I can deal with them.  Love to all, Trisha